I’ve been swamped with meetings, funerals and events for the past few days. It’s rather striking when you consider how much of our lives is shaped by the people we meet, but also just how hard saying goodbye is.
This is Peter Payne, a man who has been a significant part of my life for many years… and sadly, he passed away a few weeks ago.
Peter was such a fantastic boss and later became a wonderful friend. He and his wife Sue were truly legends in Youth Work in Buckinghamshire and then Milton Keynes. I stayed working with Peter for many years because he really helped me shine as a Youth worker. Even when I moved on we started a charity for Romanian orphans in the early nineties together, which led to him visiting Romania many times with me and the team. It was remarkable we never had any cross words just kind encouragement and professional leadership.
The Youth Project I worked in was a challenging one on a London overspill estate and this is where I met Dale Caffrey, who became an inspiration for us to set up our charity. My co-founder Jay Lucas was Dale’s friend.
Jay is a really good friend now. Without him, the charity would not have started. After Dale’s suicide and funeral where I made the promise to do something to stop other families going through the pain of suicide, we met together, and we researched and came up with the idea and plan for Mental Health Motorbike. We both invested so much time into coming up with a plan that would be achievable and needed. I’ve known Jay since he was a little boy, and now he’s living in Portugal with his wife Charlotte, and they are again doing amazing work out there.
So who else did I meet … first of all, Kelly, what an awesome individual. Again, school friends with Jay and Dale. Now working at Falconhurst School looking after the SEN children. The room lights up when you meet Kelly and the kids love her!
She’s one of the kindest and amazing people whose life has been both amazing and difficult. She’s full of positivity and fight, and I’m really proud to call her a friend. although she nearly got me killed trying to rescue her from a bull run she shouldn’t of done in Pamplona in the 90’s!!!
Then we have Sabrina and Damien, who are incredible individuals. You will not meet a more feisty, scary, and direct individual than Sabrina. But deep down, she’s a softie.
They are both working working within the field of equality and diversity and leading the way in getting organisations to think about this seriously. I’ve known Sabrina since she was 11 and I’ve seen her Journey and struggles and achievements over the years and once again such a force of nature and good friend. I love seeing her for a good catch up and she has a very cool BMW M4!
Then we have Lorna (Dale’s wife) we met up in a Shisha bar and had sushi whilst watching the Portugal football match! And we laughed, joked and talked a lot. I get recharged when I meet Lorna she’s one of life’s bright beacons.
So why was my motorbike parked in a school hall? This is the inspiration week at Falconhurst Primary School – setup by deputy head Matthew Nash. 20 inspiring professionals spend a day talking to the school leavers about their jobs and what it took to get there.
Pride of place for the motorbike which got huge amount of attention from the students, at least it was safe and wasn’t gonna get stolen off the street as it was in the school Hall.
The event that I was at was part of was inspirations week for 90 year six students. They had the opportunity to meet with 19 professionals from different careers, and spend the day talking to them and asking questions about how they got there. It was a really challenging day full of intense questions but we managed to meet all 90+ students individually and I talked about the Charity my life and the students were exceptional. We counted over 120 people sat on my motorbike getting photos after school with their parents, who knows they may be the future of motorbikes because of this experience?
Doing events like this is very different to a normal motorbike event at the same time really important as this will get our name out there, in the local papers, and school circles. I met teachers whose partners were bikers and the teaching assistant who was a biker herself and they have since joined our online group.
Of course going for a non-alcoholic drink with my friends after school was the icing on the cake.
As I finish the day, one of my girls sent me this picture of me proudly holding them and I thought back to Peter whose funeral we went to and I thought without a remarkable man like him none of this would’ve happened. Chance connections and meating the right people can really shape your life for the better.
And as I close this short article my thoughts go back to Peter and his wife Sue who now has to start navigating her life without a beloved husband. Thank you Peter for being such a good friend and inspirational person in my life. You’ve enabled me to have a life full of adventure, confidence and friends, you enabled and empowered me to thrive and make a difference for myself and others.
You will be missed wherever you are, please now take a rest knowing that your job is done and you did make a difference – and it was much bigger than you think – I was one of thousands of lives your magic touched x
Love Paul.