I would like to thank all those people that contacted me after my previous blog post. I wanted to give you an update of where things are at with regards my own Mental Health and my phased return back to the Charity. 

In hindsight the previous blog post was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write as it meant looking inwards and taking responsibility but also acknowledging I might not be as strong as I thought I was.

One of our charity values is transparency and it would’ve been easy for me to brush this under the carpet and keep my situation to myself. But I know the feedback I’ve got has led to quite a lot of people realising that they also need to go and visit the doctor. So this alone validates my reasons for sharing so much and writing what was a risky post.

I consider myself somebody that’s spent a lot of time around poor Mental Health both professionally and personally and in many ways I should have been more tuned in to my own situation. But as I’ve talked about in the past, this stupid male conditioning kicks in and you tell yourself you are okay you will get through this you don’t need help, all the things that we are taught on the mental heath first aid training seem to go out of the window when it’s yourself you’re trying to manage. I would never tell somebody to ‘man up’ or ‘get a grip’ but my inner voice kept saying this subconsciously to me and this is why it took me so long to get professional help. But during  that delay time things were deteriorating quite badly. 

This experience has really highlighted how important our  charity is – particularly when you are being let down by other professional services. We provide a platform for people to talk in a non judgmental space, we won’t laugh at you or ignore you. When I look back to how I have been supported over the last 3 months, my friends from the Charity have really carried me through this difficult period and I would like to thank them once again (and my family) for helping me understand how poorly I have been. 

Taking stock of things I realise it’s still have a long way to go in understanding my own mental health but I’ve realised how damaging burnout can be. Anybody that knows me will know how this Charity goes to the core of who I am and for me to get to the stage where I wanted to walk away showed something was obviously wrong. It’s not until you completely stop that you can start to see a clearer picture of what was wrong. When you’re in the thick of it so much is missed. I was burnt out after 5 very intense years creating a national charity from scratch and this burnout had a detrimental effect on my confidence and self-esteem. 

Over the next few weeks I’m working with the charity trustees to look at a phased return back to work. This will start with me attending four days at Motorcycle Live and then hopefully meeting with all of our incredible Regional Coordinators and team before Christmas. 

It makes my heart full of pride to see we will be at 1100 Mental Health first aid trained by Christmas. But more importantly when we look at the data we have done something in the region of 400 face-to-face events using the skills of these mental health first aiders and allowing them to put theory into practice – we take the support directly to places bikers hang out and make talking very accessible. 

Something like this doesn’t just happen overnight it happens because of some very special people. Volunteers that understand the charity’s vision and resonate with it. It has meant them giving up much of their weekends to meet with and look after fellow bikers. And for me I have the upmost respect for every one of our volunteers that has done this, it is heartwarming, as I’ve been a direct beneficiary of this Support. 

Poor Mental Health is that silent killer which affects far more people than you might realise. So just a few little … If you notice one of your friends or family member seems to be behaving differently or is a little subdued or dishevelled, make a cup of tea and ask them are you okay? You may need to dig a little bit to get the truth. Also give yourself some time to deal with the fact they might not be okay and will need some help. This could be a life-saving intervention. The Mental Health first aid training we deliver will give you the confidence and toolkit to do this (www.mhmotorbike.com/mhfa) and we would welcome you into our network. 

I am not going to rush into doing what I did previously, I’m going to try and get a much better work life balance and be more focussed , but after lots of soul searching I still see my future with the Charity and hopefully helping to drive the team to do what we are doing better. It’s taking a lot of time for me to work out next steps, but my journey with this incredible charity is not over.

I will leave you with a few words of wisdom…

First of all great acts of kindness are made up of many smaller deeds. As we care for others we are also working on ourselves; every act, every word, every gesture of genuine compassion naturally nourishes our own hearts and in my experience this will make you a more fulfilled person. Caring for others will make this complicated world more bearable and something we should all do.

Have a great weekend – Paul ‘Oxo’ x